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Years ago, when Indian artist Indu Harikumar fell in love, she thought it was the perfect romance. But within months, the live-in relationship began to unravel - there were frequent fights, mostly over what she was posting on the internet.
Whenever I would share a photo or a singgle on social media, he would get upset about who's liking my photo, who's commenting on it," Ms Harikumar told the BBC. Since she didn't want to make him angry, she trimmed her friends' list, unfriended her exes and restricted access to male friends. Soon, American fork single track was putting the same restrictions on my life offline too.
I was walking on eggshells. A friend with a sizeable of followers tagged me and commented, 'Then you should look at Indu. Ms Harikumar's latest crowd-sourced Instagram art project - LoveSexandTech - draws from her own personal experiences and those of other women of "online abuse".
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It's supported by Take Back the Tech, a global campaign to make digital space safer for women. Online adult live chat is pervasive globally and a lot of it is directed at women. They are trolled for their politics or opinions, many often complain of receiving threats of rapes and sexual assault.
In India too, the report said, that increasing access to the internet had resulted in more women facing online abuse for participating in public life and sharing their opinions on social media platforms.
Campaigners say online abuse has the power to "belittle, demean, intimidate and eventually silence women". But the nameless, faceless trolls are one thing, domen much bigger problem is how does one deal with abuse from their loved ones?
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Stuv is what LoveSexandTech is documenting - how gender-based violence in ssex relationships le to a shrinkage of the space women occupy online. Ms Harikumar says when she first womeb out a post in August asking women to share their stories about "restrictions, surveillance and control placed by intimate partners", she didn't think she would get many responses. She initially called her project Love, Sex and Violence but then "I realised that in India, a lot of violations are not even considered violence, especially the emotional ones".
So, she spelt it out in greater details, explaining that "this could be anything from the threat to make a chat you shared memphis md freaky fat girl chat lines them public or with friends, threatening to leak your nude photos or leaking them, causing you emotional, physical or sexual harm for talking to someone online or posting something that they don't approve of, or adding spyware to your devices".
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Within days, Ms Harikumar says, lots of women responded with their stories of having faced "gaslighting, control, slut-shaming, emotional violence and manipulation". At the same time, they wanted their stories to serve as a warning to others who found themselves in a similar situation. One woman, who wrote in saying she was "very conscious of her body", spoke about her shock on finding out that her lover had shared really friendly texting nude photo online without her consent.
He was pleased that so many men said they desired me sexually.
He said lesbian chatrooms did it because he wanted me to feel good about my body. But I felt so violated. Another wrote in saying she stopped posting selfies because every time she posted siingle, her boyfriend would berate her, telling her it was her way of seeking validation.
Yet another said her sex vidoe chat badgered her until she shared her password with him saying "you're hiding something or sinngle talking to other men". And another woman said her partner used her thumb to unlock her phone as she slept and later shamed her over a video she had watched online. Almost all the women, Ms Harikumar says, narrated experiences similar to her own - that in an attempt to make their relationship work, they'd stopped talking to their exes, deleted them from their friends' list, and stopped posting selfies.
They had also removed photos showing cleavage, or where they were gay and lesbain chat or drinking. Most women take refuge in the 'good girl narrative'.
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It's universal - it keeps them safe. Free chat no2 are told women can only be of two kinds - Mother Mary or a slut. We often blame ourselves when things go wrong. But what is womeh, she says, is that the women who "sent in their stories said they'd realised that they were being abused and stood up to their abusers".
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One woman char in about how she stood up to her ex-boyfriend when he threatened to send her photos to her dad. Another said her ex-boyfriend threatened to share her nudes online when she broke up with him. He backed down when she threatened to call the police on him.
You blame yourself for not standing up for yourself," Ms Harikumar says. Through LoveSexandTech, she says, she is trying to document stories of women acknowledging the abuse, standing up to their abusers, and taking back control of technology to international chat adult dating the virtual withh that is rightfully theirs. Gaslighting: The 'perfect' romance that became a nightmare.
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The Indian artist painting women's breast stories. But that didn't help - he still found things to get angry about. The artist painting women's breast stories Gaslighting: The 'perfect' romance that became a nightmare India 'fails' victims of abuse. Related Topics.
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Internet safety Emotional abuse India Asia. More on this story. Published 29 November Published 11 March Published 29 October